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Wednesday, July 9, 2014

The Drunken Killer And The Drunken Martial Artist

Once upon a dreary night, there was the despair of many a great people, who's only flaws were being drunk. There was a killer of drunk people... Most of these people were honest to good folks, who just wanted to be happy in the comfort of their own homes, and those who wanted to party at their favorite club.

I for one love to get drunk, but when I heard the news of a killer who hated drunks I grew a little weary... I may be a great drunken martial artist, but I know that you never know what's gonna happen. I decided to stay home that one night and I wanted to stay sober, even though I ended up getting drunk. I later knew that night how big of a deal it would turn out to be...

I wanted to go out for a walk, I wasn't shitfaced, just a little drunk, so walking wasn't a challenge. Suddenly I heard a blood hurdling scream! It was the most ungodly thing I've ever heard... It sounded manly like. At this time I was confused, rather than afraid, but still a little paranoid. I ran silently towards the noise, hoping I could be of some assistance, but when I got there it was too late... There was a stalky man with a beer belly who had his guts hanging out, I seen the killer running off swiftly, trying to keep from being seen, so I chased after him! I am a very quick runner, being that I have strong legs I can take bigger power steps.

I was hot on his trail, but then he decided to stop when I was right behind him and he turned around to gut me like he did that poor man! I dodged the object, which happened to be a huge machete! He kept swinging and I kept dodging with the drunken style of martial arts I had learned, for I had to learn it, I am very clumsy even while not drunk. He started to get annoyed, so he dropped the knife, at which point I decided to tackle him right when he let his guard down. I tackled him as hard as I could.

This drama had taken an unnerving twist... He started to have a seizure, his mouth was open, he was swallowing his tongue! I ran away, scared out of my mind that I had killed him.

Later that night I made it home safely, I was out of breath, but luckily my family was out for a car ride and they didn't suspect a thing. I left the serial killer to die...

Revolution Conservative

I've always wanted to live in a place where diversity is held in highest regard, no matter how plain or freaky one might be. I've always believed that the revolution begins with diversity and that the diversity is our freedom, but not where I went...

I found a very secluded area inside of Kentucky, untouched by the norm of this particular state, usually ridden with a touch of hillbillies, but they weren't in sight. I headed towards their town square, the view of this city is absolutely blissful to the eyes! I've never seen such green vegetation... At the time I didn't want to leave, I wanted to live there. Everyone I passed looked so fresh and unique, so vibrant with style!

On my way to the square I met with a friendly gentleman, who seemed happy to see me. He wasn't like the rest of the people there... He looked very plain, like myself.

Gentleman: Hi there stranger!
Me: Hello.
Gentleman: You must be new here.
Me: Yes, actually I am. This seems like a wonderful and tolerant place.
Gentleman: Don't let this place fool you... The atmosphere seems loose, but they think people who are plain and conservative are freaks...

I knew it was too good to be true ... I nodded my head and sighed with disappointment.

Gentleman: Hey! Don't fret, we have a place just for people like you and me. They gave it to us just so we wouldn't mingle with the first class citizens.

It sounded good, but it was very fishy. I followed him to this little club. We entered. I wasn't expecting to see an old run down place, especially with their way of dress. I asked the gentleman a few questions.

Me: Why is this place so run down?
Gentleman: The upper-class won't come in and fix the place. Damn bastards!
Me: Is everything here safe?
Gentleman: What do you mean?
Me: Like the drinking water, exposed wire, building maintenance?
Gentleman: Not really, we're just smart enough to stay away from the dangers. Accidents still do happen though, like people drinking the water. They usually get the wrong cup.

Sounds like an old switch-a-roo. I finally pieced together the true intentions of the upper-class... I got in the middle of the crowd and spoke up.

Me: Everyone! Listen to me!

The party stops for the moment.

Me: The upper-class has given you a false sense of security! They only gave you this place to put you in alot danger from neglect. If this place doesn't kill you then they will. You can stay if you want, but I'd rather deal with hillbillies than be neglected or abused, so see ya.

People weren't too happy with me...

Crowd: Nonsense! Get out of here!

I had no choice... I left them to die.

When I was back in the comfort of my own home, I settled down and got on the internet to read the news, but to my own discovery, the gentleman had emailed the news channel with a horrible tale that the club he went to was under investigation of a huge bomb explosion! Local law enforcement neglected to investigate, so the FBI got involved; there were no survivors, the upper-class are being questioned. Those bastards will never get me!

Those poor folks never stood a chance...

The Dreaming Wager

I was once faced with my true st form, the one who keeps me alive while I sleep, but it was no mere dream... I have always wanted to know who I really am, and I knew that there was only one option to finding out, I had to wager with my subconscious mind!

The night was as every night goes, the room was silent and dimly lit. I never remember how I go into dream land, so I will get right to the point; I fell asleep. I found myself face to face with a martial-arts master, mid-aged, and every bit of a man.

I thought to myself, “Who could that be?” and the man had given me an answer, which strangely coincided with my question. I looked at him and I asked him out-loud, “How did you know the answer when I didn't even ask?”, then he smirked.

“You are clever.”, he remarked. I then became lucid, this was a dream. I found my confidence, and so I toyed with my dream character. “I know who you are.”, a grin came across my face. “So you do?”, he hastily expressed.

I had to think fast; “I'd like to make a little wager with you!”, this stopped him dead in his tracks. “What kind of wager?”, he replied. “I want to battle you in a match of mixed martial arts, and if I win, then you must tell me who you are, in every little detail!”, my adversary grinned, as he knew he had an unimaginable advantage, inside of this dream world!

“I accept!”, he then proceeded to prepare. He signals; “Bring it on!”, and the battle was on! I made my first move with a punch, which he was able to prepare, where he then tried to grapple and throw me, but to no avail; although he did manage to knock me down with a deathly punch. I got back up, then I proceeded to kick, which he also blocked. He landed another one, right in my jaw!

“You know you can't win!”, he was almost right, but I quickly took control! I shape-shifted into a blob, surrounding him! He was fighting me something fierce, who then almost broke free, but then I consumed the whole dream world!

“Alright! I quit! I give! I give!”, he pleaded. I let him go, as now he had some explaining to do. “You wanna know who I am?”, he scornfully conceited. “Tell me every little detail.”, I neutrally replied.

His fading voice echoed, “I...am...God...” ...

A.D.D. Madness! [Feed]

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