People expect too much of me, as they see my youth as strength, when in all reality I still feel so worn out, which I always have, ever since I was a teenager. I am high-functioning autistic, and people expect too much out of me only because I have the necessary language-skills, when in all reality I don't understand half the things being told to me, and when I get yelled at for the slightest misunderstanding, it hurts my feelings and it causes my paranoid behavior to spiral out of control!
I don't know how to explain how I feel or what I think, so it makes other people frustrated and they misunderstand what I'm trying to tell them. If it isn't bad enough that I can't explain to my doctors the feelings I have, because of this lack of language, they can't properly diagnose me with PTSD, and whatever other problems I may have... I suffer from constant anxiety, and it's no wonder that I got addicted to opioid pain medication, because besides the marijuana that I had to give up, the opioids were the only thing that made me feel "normal" for once in my life! All of the paranoid behavior ceased when I used marijuana and opioids, the stress was bearable, and I felt happy. I just want to relax, is that too much to ask?!